BBlog

There are a few things which guarantee you success in life. I'm sure having the surname Beckham must help; as would genetically modifying the mating process so you inherited his looks and not his intellect.

I can honestly say, however, that I have never met anyone who has achieved anything of note if they have chosen to end their name with an "i" instead if a "y".

I've no doubt that "Becki" and "Vicki" are naturally much more fun, cool and interesting than their duller peers, "Becky" and "Vicky" - but would you trust them to run the country? Would people have preferred Toni Blair to that boring square Tony?

Similarly, the construction of "kki" over the seemingly more mundane "cky" usually means the owner is guaranteed popularity and wild antics. Unfortunately, this also often entitles them to a life of teenage pregnancies and asbos. "Bekki" and "Vikki" drink cider on the park and pull boys; "Becky" and "Vicky" sit at home and watch Friends re-runs on E4.

We can witness the importance of name spelling in the new series of Big Brother. It's not enough for loud and proud Rebecca to be known as Becki....not even a well placed "kki" can fully describe how ker-azy she is. No, after much deliberation, she has shortened her name to the ubiquitous, "Bex".

Are we to assume that the addition of an "x" to an otherwise fairly boring name helps to enforce the fact that its owner is zany and bubbly? Are these the sort of people who describe themselves as "mad" but really just wear badly matched clothes in primary colours?

Or, is it that they're so dull that the only thing that could possibly pique interest in them is a rarely used letter that's worth a lot of points on the scrabble board?

I couldn't possibly comment. My name ends with a "y" and I keep a blog.

I'm clearly a loser.